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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23101576">Anguish</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/fishfingersandjellybabies/pseuds/fishfingersandjellybabies'>fishfingersandjellybabies</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Recognition AU [9]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Batman (Comics)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 13:42:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,958</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23101576</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/fishfingersandjellybabies/pseuds/fishfingersandjellybabies</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It all happened so fast. It was an enemy, a family member, and a chance. It was the collapse of his whole world.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Recognition AU [9]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/268402</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>146</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Anguish</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The end! Like three years after the last update I finally finish this crazy thing. I knew how it was going to end after probably the third part, but just couldn’t figure out how to bridge it, so sorry if this seems a little ‘quick’ so to speak. Damian just never got over his older brother, even through the turmoil. I still don’t say if Bruce is dead or not, oops my b. Funny - the first part of this series is only 500 words. This is nearing 3k. Talk about growth haha.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It all happened so fast.</p><p>Well, relatively, anyway.</p><p>In reality, it was months. Months of Dick dragging them from abandoned building to abandoned building. Hiding in the shadows, from Owls and Bats alike. Keeping Damian under vague threat of harm to have Tim under his command, too.</p><p>Dick showed no one mercy, and a trail of bodies were left in their wake. The media eventually picked up on it, but never got further than a few clever nicknames. That seemed to amuse Dick to no end.</p><p>And Tim hated him. Tim…<em>wanted</em> to hate him. He was killing. He was hurting innocent people. He was doing everything they were against, everything they fought when they were heroes.</p><p>But.</p><p>A few times he used the violence to protect them. Like when a drunk man tried to grab Damian in a convenience store one afternoon. Dick had yanked his hand off of Damian’s person, cut off his thumb, then stabbed him in the jugular.</p><p>Or when a prostitute appeared out of an alleyway and shoved a gun into Tim’s ribs and demanded all of his valuables. As gracefully as only Dick Grayson could, he pulled Tim to safety and took his place, swiftly slicing his knife across the femoral artery in her thigh and kicking her back into the alley she’d appeared from. Then he’d cheerfully taken Damian and Tim’s hands, and they continued their journey across the street.</p><p>And it was just enough. Just protective and caring and <em>in-character</em> enough that it made Tim hope. Made him believe that maybe their Dick Grayson was still in there, somewhere, and they could find him.</p><p>But time and again, the hope would be shattered, when Dick would nonchalantly wrap his fingers around Damian’s neck. When he’d grin at Tim after those kills, with a gleam in his eye.</p><p>It was exhausting, this rollercoaster of hope and despair. Of worrying about himself, and Damian. Surviving, and trying not to love his oldest brother as much as he always has.</p><p>And it was months of this. Almost a year. Being trained by the Talon when possible, and shacking up in any structure with four walls when Dick allowed them to stop. Ignoring the murders and the smell of death outside the windows of their temporary shelters.</p><p>They’d catch glimpses of the Court of Owls, chasing after them themselves. Some of Dick’s kills were his fellow Talons, and Tim couldn’t quite say he was sorry for their loss.</p><p>“We’ll take them all down.” Dick kept saying, every so often. “Dwindle their numbers here on the streets, then go back and take down the ones that remain.”</p><p>They’d see the members of the Bats, too, every so often. And Dick always had a knife at the ready when they appeared. Ready to kill or be killed. Or rather – kill, or ready to throw Damian or Tim into the line of fire.</p><p>But then Tim and Damian would beg. <em>Leave them alone. If they don’t see us, there’s no reason to engage</em>. Like the rest of their misery, Dick seemed to find enjoyment in their pleads. Would drop the subject after whatever Bat they’d seen disappeared back into the city.</p><p>But suddenly, after months, after almost a goddamn <em>year</em>, it wasn’t a flyby. They didn’t just see their family from far away.</p><p>Suddenly, by the harbor, they were standing face to face with the Red Hood.</p><p>It was Damian who had noticed first. They’d been walking along the boardwalk, just meandering to kill time, maybe looking for somewhere to eat. Damian, walking between them, had turned to watch a bird fly overhead, then suddenly gasped.</p><p>The sound alerted Tim and Dick, and they both looked at him and followed his gaze. Tim’s heart dropped at the sight of Jason walking quickly behind them, having clearly recognized them first.</p><p>“No…” Damian whispered as Jason stopped a few feet away, leaving space. Dick shoved him into Tim’s arms, pulling a knife out in the same movement.</p><p>“Dick? Is that you, man?” Jason asked slowly, holding his hands up in front of him in peace. He wasn’t wearing a mask, or his helmet, but the rest of his uniform screamed his moniker. “I can’t believe I finally…”</p><p>“The Red Hood, yes?” Dick asked slowly. “Ally to the Batman.”</p><p>“Sure, if that’s what you want to call it.” Jason murmured, eyes darting over the younger two. Tim could see the fury building behind his eyes at how thin they both were, and the bruises clearly visible. “You two okay?”</p><p>“We’re alive.” Tim countered. “So if you count that as okay, then yeah.”</p><p>Jason nodded slowly, eyes going back to Dick. “…Give me the kids.”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Dick, please. I know you don’t want to do this to them.” Jason tried. Tim almost laughed at the idea. Appealing to Dick’s emotions – as if he really had any left. “Just…let me take them home. Then I’ll come back to you and we can talk, okay?”</p><p>“No.” Dick repeated. “They aren’t yours anymore.”</p><p>Jason huffed, and took a step forward. Dick shifted only to grab another knife out of his stash, and hold the blade to Damian’s throat.</p><p>“Take another step and I’ll end him.” Dick warned. Jason froze like a deer in headlights, eyes going wide. His gaze darted to Tim, who nodded.</p><p>“He’s serious.” Tim returned. “Why do you think we haven’t tried to get away before?”</p><p>Damian said nothing. Just scowled, and balled his hands into fists.</p><p>“What the fuck.” Jason breathed, reaching for the gun at his side. “What the actual <em>fu</em>-”</p><p>Without warning, a spattering of knives fell in a straight line between them. Tim and Damian jumped, and Jason pulled the gun from its holster and pointed up. Dick merely sighed.</p><p>“About time you found us, William.” He sneered.</p><p>“You’re better at hiding than we thought.” William hummed. “And still with your little pets, I see.”</p><p>“They’re none of your concern.” Dick spat.</p><p>“No, that’s why I wish to kill them and get it over with.” William sighed. “So they’re finally out of the way, and we can move on to more important things.”</p><p>“If anyone is killing them, it will be my decision and by my <em>hand</em>.” Dick reminded harshly. And Tim didn’t know if it was an involuntary movement or not, but the blade still held to Damian’s throat cut into his skin, just slightly, and blood blossomed underneath it.</p><p>“Hey, how about,” Jason shouted, drawing the attention back to him. “No one’s killing anyone? Least of all two fucking kids?”</p><p>“Would you like to take their place?” William called as he jumped down onto the boardwalk. Tim involuntarily pulled Damian back and for once, Dick allowed it without thought.</p><p>“How about you, instead?” Jason asked, shooting immediately. William dodged to the side, and Dick ducked. Damian spun and shoved Tim to the ground, and Tim rolled to practically laid on top of the younger.</p><p>“Jason!” Tim shouted over the noise. “Stop!”</p><p>But as he glanced back, he instantly saw Jason’s tactic. He wasn’t shooting to kill, he was shooting as a distraction. After every bullet, he took a step forward, forcing both Dick and William to either hide or back up themselves.</p><p>Getting them away from Tim and Damian.</p><p>“Just stay down!” Jason called back, switching out magazines as the gun emptied. Tim nodded, ducking his head back down onto Damian’s.</p><p>“…We’re getting out, kid.” He whispered. “This is our opening. We’re going home.”</p><p>In retrospect, the fact that Damian didn’t say anything should have been concerning. Tim should have noted it, should have at least looked at the kid in his silence. But he didn’t, and just took it as Damian not bothering to try under the sound of gunfire.</p><p>Because if he looked, he would have seen Damian watching Dick in his retreat.</p><p>Jason’s second magazine ran out just as he came up next to them. But this time, there was no surprise in the attack, and in the seconds-long pause, Dick took his chance, rushing forward, knives at the ready.</p><p>He threw a few, but missed. So when he was close enough, he began throwing punches instead. Some Jason was able to counter, some not. Their battle moved away from Tim and Damian once more, and when Tim was able to look, he saw Jason on his back, Dick standing over him with knives in each hand.</p><p>There was that rollercoaster of hope again.</p><p>“No, no, no…” Tim scrambled, trying to get to his feet. But by the time he got on foot settled on the ground, William Cobb was appearing from his hiding spot, and already looming over the Talon and Red Hood.</p><p>“Jason!” Tim screamed, already seeing the scenario play out. Dick would stab him first. Then William. Then, if he was still alive after that, they’d just keep stabbing him, until nothing was left. Then they’d slash his throat, just because.</p><p>But…no.</p><p>Because when William reached out, it was Dick he stabbed, right in where his throat and collarbone met.</p><p>Dick shrieked when he did, the sound echoing as William pulled the blade along his shoulder.</p><p>“No one betrays the Court.” William hissed, yanking the blade out. Dick looked practically feral as he faced him. “Not even you, Grandson. Your game was fun while it lasted, but now it’s time to end it.”</p><p>“No one betrays the Court?” Dick repeated, turning to face the other Talon. Jason silently tried to shimmy away, but Dick only spared him a glance, before swinging a blade into lower thigh, lodging it there. “The Court does not own <em>me</em>.”</p><p>“A fact they have become aware of.” William said. “Therefore, Richard Grayson, the Court of Owls has sentenced you to die. And it fills me with glee to be the one to take the contract.”</p><p>“Go ahead and try.” Dick hissed, taking one of his own knives and stabbing it into William’s neck. William jerked away before Dick could remove it, but he couldn’t dodge the punch that came after, nor the swift kick.</p><p>But he did catch the lunge that Dick tried next, and had his dagger in Dick’s side before anyone could blink.</p><p>Tim wasn’t focusing on their fight, though. He was focusing on their chance to get out. On their only chance, the only one they’ve had this whole fucking time.</p><p>On their brother who, honestly, he’s missed.</p><p>So as soon as Dick and William were a few feet away from Jason, he stood and ran over to him.</p><p>“Can you stand?” Tim breathed. Jason shrugged. “Okay, I’ll…I’ll help you.”</p><p>He glanced over to the fight between Talons. Both were bleeding now, but neither were giving up. Ripping blades out of themselves to attack the other with, keeping their punches and kicks, no matter how much their injuries may have been affecting them.</p><p>“…Should I help him?” Jason asked. “Is he…him?”</p><p>“No, to the second question.” Tim murmured. “And…I…I don’t know to the first.”</p><p>“…How many times has he threatened Damian?” Jason asked. “Or you?”</p><p>“You don’t want to know.” Tim shook his head. “But…he did protect us a few times, too.”</p><p>“Good enough for now, I guess.” Jason grunted, shifting to his side, pulling out his second gun. He held up it up, aimed for a moment, then shot, hitting William directly in the center of his throat.</p><p>It didn’t kill him, but it made him stagger, and drop his knife. Gave Dick the opening he needed.</p><p>He dug his blade into the hole Jason’s bullet created and sliced in a circle.</p><p>Sawed and sawed until William’s head detached from his body, and he’d successfully beheaded his grandfather.</p><p>“Fuck.” Jason breathed, as Dick turned, staring down at the head in his hands. But when Dick looked up, he wasn’t looking at any of them, but out into the harbor.</p><p>And without a word, he threw it into the waters.</p><p>But from the short, yet intense, battle, he was exhausted, and injured. And the effort of throwing William Cobb’s head seemed too much, as he collapsed to his knees, falling onto his hands.</p><p>This was it.</p><p>“Let’s go.” Tim whispered. “Jay…this is our chance.”</p><p>“Don’t want to…I don’t know, bring him along? Arrest him or…” Jason offered. And Tim knew Jason still didn’t grasp the severity of this. The severity of how <em>not</em> Dick this Dick Grayson was. How Tim had already realized they’d never have their Dick back, ever again.</p><p>“Leave him. We can…worry about him some other day.” Tim pushed. “Now come on, I’ll help you up.”</p><p>Jason nodded, and gasped in pain as Tim helped him to his feet, got him staggering the way he’d came. As he began to move a little better, Tim turned.</p><p>“Damian, let’s go.”</p><p>But Damian, who was still lying on the boardwalk where Tim had left him, didn’t move.</p><p>“Damian!” Tim hissed. He moved towards him, just a few steps. “It’s now or never, kid. We gotta move.”</p><p>Damian still didn’t move, and wouldn’t look at Tim. Still just staring at Dick.</p><p>“Damian. <em>Come on</em>.”</p><p>Now, the boy looked over, and to Tim’s surprise, there were tears pouring down his face.</p><p>“I can’t.” Damian choked. “I can’t leave him.”</p><p>“W-what?”</p><p>Damian looked back to Dick. To the Talon. To what Tim was finally accepting as their <em>former</em> brother.</p><p>“I can’t leave Grayson.”</p><p>“He’s…Damian, he’s…” Tim’s heart was shattering. “He’s not Dick anymore.”</p><p>“He…I can…Maybe…” Damian shifted to his knees. Looked back at Tim. “You go. Get Todd home. Rest. You deserve it.”</p><p>“I’m not leaving you here, are you crazy?!” Tim asked. He took another step forward, but this time, Dick looked up at him. His strength was already returning, and they were running out of time. “No. No way. Damian, let’s go. <em>Now</em>.”</p><p>But Damian was shaking his head as he stood. “I’m sorry.” He wailed. “I’m so sorry.”</p><p>“<em>Damian, no</em>!” Tim screamed, lunging for the boy. But Damian was faster, and ducked his hand, running to Dick’s side.</p><p>Dick didn’t emote as Damian kneeled next to him, putting a hand over a bleeding wound on his side. Didn’t even smile as Damian wrapped Dick’s arm around his neck, and hoisted him up.</p><p>He gave Tim one last look. His eyes were dark, and hollow. “I hope we see each other again one day.” He whispered. “Forgive me.”</p><p>Dick’s strength wasn’t back yet. So even as he leaned towards Tim to grab him, Damian steered him away, dragging him back into the shadows.</p><p>“Damian, wait!” But as Tim moved after them himself, he felt a hand grab his elbow.</p><p>“We won’t give up on him.” Jason promised. “But there’s nothing we can do right now. He gave us a chance, before Dick’s back in his right mind and comes after you. We need to take it.”</p><p>Crying, sobbing really, Tim nodded, turned and slowly helped Jason limp to safety.</p><p>…It all just happened so fast.</p><p>~~</p><p>Tim didn’t leave the manor much these days. Too busy drowning in a mixture of depression and PTSD, and spending days at a time in front of computers, looking for any sign of Dick and Damian.</p><p>The murders continued, and reports changed to include the murderer’s new tiny shadow. The Bird Boys, some channels called them. Or the Talon Twins. Some wondered if it was the return of the Red Hood and Scarlett from years gone by, or the Anti-Batman, with his Anti-Robin.</p><p>Some conspiracy website called them Ghosts, and Tim felt that was most fitting.</p><p>The mysterious Talon and his mysterious child never bothered the Bats, though. Never attacked, or colluded to with others. Tim even noticed in his constant research that the murders were now aimed towards the worst criminals of the worst. He was proud of Damian for that. A hero even now, when he really didn’t have to be.</p><p>But despite Damian’s final words to him, Tim never saw them either. Only followed their lives in barely-accurate news stories and alerts. But for Damian’s sake, he tried. Rented shady motel rooms and left notes in alleyways about them. Bought bags of groceries and left them in the abandoned buildings they frequented.</p><p>One time, he found a note in one, most definitely in <em>Dick’s</em> handwriting, that merely said <em>Thanks</em>. Another time, he found blood in the rented motel room. Later tests said it was Damian’s.</p><p>For not the first time in his life, he hated how close Dick and Damian were. Because maybe if they weren’t, maybe if Dick didn’t once love Damian like a son, maybe if Damian didn’t love Dick more than <em>the</em> sun – Damian would be here. Damian would be <em>safe</em>.</p><p>(More than once, though, when he found blood where he believed his brothers to be, it was confirmed to be Dick’s. Tim couldn’t help but smile then – Damian was holding his own.)</p><p>Regardless, he never saw them again, and he never got over it, what happened. Never returned to Red Robin. Never really returned to Tim Drake.</p><p>Maybe he died that day, when Damian stayed with the one who was hurting them so. Or maybe he died day one of this whole ordeal, when Bruce told him to run. Told him to protect Damian and get away.</p><p>He had failed so horribly at both of those things.</p><p>So maybe, he never really left Dick either, not mentally. Emotionally. Spiritually.</p><p>Maybe he was just another ghost too.</p><p>Maybe Jason was too. And Cass. And Steph. And Barbara. And Alfred. They all grieved alongside him. Every second of every day.</p><p>And maybe, in the end the Court of Owls got exactly what they wanted.</p><p>The Wayne family destroyed.</p>
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